continuation

1.23.03

so black yet so classy. why must they dress to make me feel so inundate. well it's not about me. so the three of us laugh and talk. and he must keep himself straight for today. so there will be needles to take his place. he's nervous. i don't blame him. i wouldn't want a bunch of myriad needles inside of me. not to deep but very unsure. an insatiable feeling when it's over. no visible blood or anything. it won't be the same for him. it won't be that fake replete feeling he normally gets. things change so quick.

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that explains the movement of my life. i like the last one even though it's not very easy to guess the outcome of it all. very small. with only the three of us. our blood is the same. and we'll make it easier. i love to show her the way. she laugh[t]s with me and i spelt that wrong. so i tell her and she laughs again. the time comes and i forget it all. oh well. we are two of a kind. the desks are all cluttered. i can't reserve my judgement in here. on to the next. everyone sits in here doing the same thing. anticipating the end. it's all the same. i walk out the front door, say i love you and i give her that grin that, then, right away, turns into the look of "fuck school. you know you pity me, mom." i seem to not fit in with these people. they lie and agree just to be discreet. i just cheat as well as pay attention which does me no good. she sneezes soo loud, so loud. and the boy above me yells so loud, but not as loud as her. people are so damn curious as to what i write. and he rushes to the girl he once used to kiss. little ridges annoy me. they are so usable, so lovely. this reminds me of the bench. scared as hell, now get away from me. "have you written lately?" they all ask and i pretend to be amazingly brilliant but extremely hesitant. oh and the book i'm reading teaches me more on one page than what i hear in class all year. paying attention really does me no good. i've never even heard of these formulas. who wants to be a chemist anyway?

no date,

she'll stay in tonite, pinching blood from the pit of her elbows.

she'll wipe the blood from her nose as she scrounges another as it flows.

it's a reoccuring dream in his head as she falls to the floor once again.

dead eyes that march into a separate world.

awakened by the light of a new day.

baffled and disturbed,

nothing to say,

nothing to stop her.

he's out working, saving for a new sprung life that he wants for the both of them.

she is not aware of this,

so the death quickly continues. repeating until the young woman appears to get weak.

he adores her. [no matter what]

she doesn't care.

he wants to give her a new life.

she wouldn't go if she knew of this.

he had no idea.

now she wanted nothing but love.

he thought that was future.

but presently, it was too late.

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i once thought of stealing that

its the only way to live

who throws out a fucking couch

you put it on the sidewalk

just so that someone will walk on by and

TAKE that double look and say

hey wait the fucking minute

THE fucking minute

i want it.

so you get it.

and you walk on by

with a smile

NOW.

now

and you walk on by

those paper canvas rolls

you once thought had no use

well you know what i could say next

but i'll leave it up to you.

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your thumb looks like a nail
do you understand?
it makes perfect sense to fail.
you were my plan & now everything is bland
the knee you hold
you're looking up
feet all bold
the triangle placed in that cup
shapes on paper bunks
the carvings off the tree trunks
godly creatures
his baby's features
brought beauty here
and you my dear
don't believe in fear
religion is against me
and i know that asian guy
named chi fi li
he reminds me of life
and getting by
i once saw you and that knife
ready for your whole suicidal scam
and then bam
you said damn
what a waste
there's a girl named eve
up my sleeve
waiting for me to taste
her every word
she heard
ran to you with a smokey bong
and you said
i've loved you all along.

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